Only Slightly
by MadWithMusic
Summary: Cracky Destiel fic I wrote just cos today was Bisexual Awareness day and what not. Dean and Cas met on Omegle and continued talking long after their short session, but Cas was insecure about himself and lied about his appearance. He worried about Dean being upset about him not looking like a male model, but ended up being pleasantly surprised. [Slight Anxiety]


A/N: I apologize in advance for any terrible spelling errors and grammar errors since my psychological or neurological or psychoneurological problem that I have is getting worse and not stopping so writing is really hard, but I just really felt in the mood to write and needed something to do to keep me awake. (Also I went to DallasCon and I'm posting pics on my blog if any of yall are interested.)

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><p>Dean had been talking to this guy - <em>Castiel<em> - online for two months now. At first he was rather skeptical of these chat rooms that all his friends had been going on about lately, but then after he was randomly paired up with quite a few people it became rather fun. Hell, Charlie even met her wife on this '_Omegle_' site. Dean found that rather hard to believe since his only experiences on there normally consisted of people looking for sex, cyber sex, trolling, and you don't dare go on video chat because that's all a bunch of dudes jacking it. Not that Dean didn't enjoy that, but after seeing it 20 times in a row in one night, it gets old. So Dean stuck to just normal text chatting.

Dean was at a party and got bored and decided to log onto this Omegle for some entertainment. After way too many random pairings, he finally landed on a guy who was just as equally unimpressed and dubious of this site as he was. They quickly introduced both of themselves as single males and the second Dean stated he was bi, he was pretty sure that the guy would leave but he didn't. He just replied with a "That's nice. I'm extremely gay." and Dean probably laughed a lot more at that than he normally would of if he were completely sober.

They weren't exactly where to start talking since they didn't have too much in common, but after Cas mentioned _Dr. Sexy MD_, Dean immediately lit up and they ended up having a very strong, deep discussion about the true meaning of Dr. Sexy's boots and how they represented his need for attention made by a long since buried experience as a child from a family of 10 and being constantly ignored and overlooked. Most people said it was a load of horse shit, but not Castiel - or Cas as Dean preferred to call him. Cas got him.

They exchanged contact information when Dean told Cas he had to go and Dean expected to never get a message, but the next morning, Dean woke up to a text during breakfast. It was from Cas. It turns out they had more in common than they first realized. They both liked long walks on the beach at sunset, soap operas, classic rock, and amateur porn so amateur that it was laughable.

Even after Cas's admittance of his feelings - which in all honesty was about the length of a 5 page essay, as if he had to justify why he felt that way - they continued talking. Given, it probably helped that Dean was completely enamoured with this not-so-stranger that he met online too, even if they'd never talked face to face.

Cas was always very nervous and unsure of almost everything about himself. His teeth weren't perfectly straight and even though he tried to work out everyday and stick to a healthy diet, he couldn't get a 6-pack and that bothered him more than it should. And his people skills weren't that well. He often found himself accidentally offending people and missing out on painfully obvious sarcasm. Not to mention that jokes and similes and metaphors went _way_ over his head.

So when Dean asked for a picture of him, he panicked. Dean would think he was hideous and awkward and Cas didn't know what to do. He'd seen many pictures of Dean and he was gorgeous. Damn him. Damn that golden dirty blonde hair. Damn those sparkling green eyes. And most of all, damn those freckles that spread all over his face and neck. There was no way Cas could compare to that. Dean looked like a male model and Cas looked….average.

In a panicked frenzy, Cas sent Dean a picture of his porn star brother, Michael. Perfect Michael. Loved-by-the-whole-family Michael. With his height and clear skin and perfect tan and ripped abs and toned muscles and sultry gaze. When Dean received the picture, he - well Michael - was showered with compliments about how well he looked and how hot he was. Of course Cas expected that. It was Michael. Even if those comments were about his own looks, it's not like he would've believed Dean anyways.

Dean knew about Cas's anxiety and lack of self-confidence though and was always there for him, even was Cas was at his worst and on the verge of punching _yet another_ hole in his wall. Dean would always get told if Cas had something big going on at work and Cas would come home stressed to a video waiting in his inbox. He'd open it and it would be a recording of Dean telling him that he did great on his presentation or project and that everyone was impressed. He'd tell him that even if he doesn't get that promotion, he still did amazing and that he was proud of him and he'll definitely get the next one because he's just that good. Cas knew that Dean was pulling all of this straight out of his ass, but Dean seemed so honest and real saying all of it and it actually _did_ make Cas feel better.

Sometimes, Cas would message Dean before he went to bed and if he was feeling anxious or lonely, Dean would send him a video or audio recording. It would normally contain Dean telling him that everything was okay and everything will be alright and that everything bad he's feeling is only temporary and that if he ever needed anything, Dean would be there for him. Cas would often fall asleep listening to Dean's voice and it was frequently the best sleep he'd get. He'd dream of lying in bed with Dean; That his arms were wrapped tightly around another warm body and not a large maternity pillow. It seemed cheesy, but it was something Cas hadn't experienced in around 5 or 6 years and that he wanted to feel again.

Dean was always so nice and caring to Cas and sometimes Cas felt like Dean deserved something in return. In fact, he knew he did. But Cas had nothing to offer. He'd seen videos upon videos of Dean and seen so many pictures of him, but Dean had seen none in return or even heard Cas's voice. He'd only seen cropped versions of Cas's brother taken from family photos. Cas didn't want to send more falsified photos than he had to. Mainly because the more he sent, the more Dean would expect. And even though Cas had an endless supply of photos of his brother, searching porn sites to find them wasn't exactly his favorite past time.

And Dean knew Cas wasn't confident in his own body image, so he never asked for photos or videos or messages on the phone. He figured when Cas would ready he'd share more with him. And after all, they were just two strangers online, but they told each other everything. Talking is much easier when you don't have to look at people.

So when Dean got the news that there was an auto convention in Vegas, he was ecstatic. He could finally meet Cas. Cas lived in Barstow, a measly 2 and a half hour drive from there. And as happy as Cas was, he was also petrified. He'd finally get to meet Dean and see him in real life and actually talk to him, but Dean would discover that Cas wasn't that hot, tanned young man, but was in reality just an average man in his thirties who only got about 6 hours sleep a night and 7 on the weekends if he was lucky. And his face showed that all too well.

Dean scheduled his flight to come in at the Vegas airport the day before the convention and leave at the local Barstow airport a week after the convention ended. Cas advised him against it, openly sharing his frets about Dean hating him after meeting him and then having to awkwardly hang around for 6 days. Dean ignored him.

They decided to meet at a café in town, a block away from Cas's apartment. Dean arrived there first and Cas was heading there straight off of work. Dean anxiously waited for him, surveying the small restaurant and trying to keep a smile off his face as he watched the door everytime the buzzer went off alerting the workers of a new guest.

Most guests who entered were older people coming in for their daily brunch of coffee and toast. Definitely not Cas. After 11:15, Dean kept his eyes trained on the door, awaiting Cas to walk in the doors, grumpy yet still hot after his first shift of the day. By 11:30, the guy Dean had seen in those photos hadn't walked in the door. Cas wouldn't stand him up, would he? Maybe he got stuck in traffic? The boss needed him? Car troubles? Phone dead? Thoughts raced through Dean's head and for once, he was the one panicking. Internally of course. On the outside, he was calm and composed. And then Cas walked through the door. Except Dean didn't even know that it was actually Cas.

Not Cas, but still extremely cute. He had black, messy hair and big blue eyes. Dean was really drawn to his dry, but extremely soft-looking lips. If Dean wasn't about to go on a date and that guy swung his way, Dean would be hitting that all day. But Dean was about to do on a date, and that hot guy's sexual orientation could be anything. So Dean just admired from afar, but looked up hopefully when he heard the door ring. Just another old lady with a poodle in her purse.

Cas had to admit he felt bad just watching Dean. The door buzzer would go off and Dean would look up excitedly, then sigh in disappointment when in reality, Cas was _right there_. Sitting right across from him a couple tables over. It only took a few minutes for Cas to begin worrying about if Dean would be more mad about being stood up or about being lied to. And honestly, Cas didn't want to find out. Maybe he should just leave and never message Dean again. But he didn't want to do that. Dean was great, and much cuter in person than on camera.

In another 15 minutes, Dean wasn't looking as enthusiastic as before and pulled out his phone to dial Cas's number. Cas quickly turned his phone on mute before Dean could press dials. He watched as Dean held the phone up to his ear, letting it ring before going to Cas's confused voicemail. Dean chuckled like he always Dean before leaving a message and then hanging up.

After a total hour of waiting and telling the waitress not to bring him anything, Dean was rearranging the table and getting ready to leave. This was Cas's last chance. So without thinking, Cas dashed over and sat in the booth next to Dean.

Dean was shocked and confused. But hey, cute guy was right next to him. "Can I help you?" He asked.

"I-uh. I-I'm sorry, but I sh-, I'm just really. I-" Cas stammered as Dean put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey. Calm down and breathe for a second, 'kay?" Dean smiled.

Cas nodded.

"There. Now what are you trying to say?" He replied.

Dean was so good at this. He'd never even met Cas and he knew how to deal with him so well. Except Dean had no clue that this _was_ Cas, which just meant that Dean knew how to deal with people in general. Dean always said he was a people person.

"I'm….I'm Cas."

"What?" Dean laughed.

"Castiel. That-that's me." Cas bit his lip nervously.

"Well, I have to say you look a lot different in person than on camera." Dean mused.

Cas shook his head slowly and looked down at his lap in shame. "I know. It was a douchey thing to do, but-"

"I get it." Dean said quietly.

"Huh?" Cas looked up at him nervously.

"I said I get it. You don't need to explain yourself. Successful, hot brother trumps everyday sandwich maker, right?" Dean smiled.

Cas nodded once more. "Pretty much."

"Well you shouldn't think like that. Besides, doesn't anyone tell you how hot you are? Or did you not take the hint by my ogling you for the past 45 minutes?" Dean scoffed.

Cas laughed, smiling into his chest. "Not really."

"Well, then take the hint when I tell you directly that you are extremely cute and I really just want to ruffle your hair." Dean growled.

"Well don't. I just brushed it." Cas stated.

"Brushed?" Dean choked. "You call that brushed?"

"Yeah…"

"You need a new brush." Dean snorted putting his hands on Cas's head and trying to pat down his hair.

"Stop!" Cas laughed, trying to pull Dean's fingers away from the top of his head.

"No." Dean replied obstanately.

Cas groaned and continued pushing at Dean's wrists. "So you're not mad?"

"Me? No. That waitress I kept waiting for an hour, maybe." Dean smiled.

"I mean you were so honest and I completely lied and-"

"Cas, shut up." Dean chuckled.

"And I definitely don't deserve for you to be so kind to me an-" Cas continued babbling until Dean grabbed him forward and pressed their lips together.

Cas leaned further into Dean, one of his hands resting on Dean's thigh and the other on his waist. Dean was actually quite pleased that Cas looked like this and not like the person he saw pictures of. Cas seemed a lot more natural and real than that. And slightly older, but details, details.

"I said shut up." Dean smiled.

"Alright." Cas giggled, grinning widely.

"So who were those photos of anyways?" Dean asked.

"My pornstar brother." Cas answered.

"Really?" Dean scoffed.

Cas nodded. "That's what all his success is about. He's a porn star."

"Awesome." Dean smiled.

So maybe things weren't as bad as Cas thought they would be. And much to his surprise, that night, for the first time in 5 or 6 years, he actually shared a bed with someone else. His arms were draped over Dean and in return, Dean's arms were pulling them close. And even though everything was getting really hot really fast especially in the minimal A/C apartment Cas had, he didn't want to move from that position.

And every night, he got to hear Dean breath as he slept and their legs were tangled together and it felt really nice. Cas had honestly forgotten what it was actually like to wake up and see someone you actually had feelings for sleeping ungracefully in some weird ass position with their hair a completely mess, but then you get to make them morning coffee and sit and drink and laugh while lounging in bathrobes.

And Cas wanted Dean to stay so bad. And Dean wanted to stay. Because that was the best week he'd had in a long time. But Dean had a life back in Lawrence that he couldn't leave behind, and Cas had his family in Barstow so they went their separate ways once again. But they still talked everyday. And this time Cas wasn't afraid to talk on the phone or to video chat because for once he knew that someone - Dean - appreciated every part of him and who he was and accepted him for everything. And he wasn't afraid with Dean.

Both of them figured that maybe someday they could spend longer time with each other, but to much of their despair, all they had was the few weeks here and there that they got off with vacation days. But even though they weren't physically there, both of them knew that they'd always have the other as long as they always had wifi and cell service. And that was pretty much always. And despite living so far away, they still called each other boyfriends and had their facebooks statuses set to in a relationship with the other and sent each other presents on valentine's day and birthdays and christmas and they loved the relationship they had. But most of all they loved each other. And in the end, that's all that matters.


End file.
